In 2023, It’s safe to assume we are all victims of a failed situationship or “talking stage”. Whether the complicated relationship simply fizzled out on mutual terms or ended messier than desired, in agreeance, it’s a less-than-stellar experience. Let’s be honest, dating is hard, complicated, and oftentimes stress-inducing. There is no rule book or manual on how to make a relationship work, humans are multifaceted beings, therefore every relationship will look very different. However, there are several tall tale signs or warnings that can be identified in an individual that suggest they may not be a great partner.
This of course is what is better known as a “red flag”. Scrolling on Tiktok or Instagram has surely led you down a rabbit hole of endless content of “red flags to look out for in dating”, which may have left you feeling worse. Similar to most debates on the internet, there are equal parts of helpful information and nonsensical information. Whether you’re reflecting on past relationships or getting back into the dating scene, it’s crucial to be aware of red flags, both in future companions and maybe a few you may possess. While some red flags may be more intense and serious than others, it’s important to assess your current situation and do what you feel is best. We put together a list of the biggest red flags in dating.
- 1. If They Say “I’m not looking for anything serious right now”.
This is usually just a “nice’ way of them saying they are not interested or there is someone else they are seeing. Depending on your own intentions this might work out fine if you also don’t want anything serious as well. However, the friends-with-benefits troupe tends to never have a happy ending. At the end of the day, you can’t ever convince another person to love you or be with you, therefore it’s best to take this with a grain of salt and move on to the next.
- 2. Talking About Exes
It’s completely normal and healthy to talk about past relationships if you have gone on several dates with someone. However, if they are consistently speaking negatively about their ex, this is a potential warning sign. Failure to admit their own personal shortcomings whilst blaming their former partner for how the relationship ended is a huge red flag. This is often a pattern with individuals who aren’t self-aware and will most likely end up hurting you to get what they want.
- 3. Love Bombing
This is a difficult red flag to detect as it’s often disguised as a person showing an immense amount of interest in you. Love bombing is described as “a tactic in which a person bombs you with extreme attention and affection to manipulate you”. This behavior can soon lead to gaslighting and abuse, as this person will say and do whatever means necessary to get what they want. Common warning signs to look out for: giving you extravagant gifts, they say all the “right things”, being overly available, and saying ‘I love you” too soon. Be cautious and aware of love bombing tactics when casually dating.
- 4. Jealous/controlling Behavior
This type of behavior can manifest in several different ways and is a huge red flag. Expressing and holding certain boundaries in a relationship is crucial, however, “boundaries” in the form of control will never lead to a healthy long-term relationship. If the person you are dating constantly demands you to stop doing certain things, this is a huge sign of jealousy and insecurity. These types of people often have deep-rooted issues, that can’t be fixed by someone else.
- 5. Puts In Zero Effort
There are millions of excuses out there,” I’m really busy with work, “I don’t have time to text or call you”, and the list could go on. It’s important to keep in mind everyone is different in their ability to show effort and affection. However, if they are constantly making no effort to see you, plan dates, or text you this is a huge red flag. Everyone deserves someone that will show up on the same level as them. If the energy is off, go find someone who actually deserves your time.