Our culture and society have some very toxic and shaky views about masculinity. Males typically avoid going to the therapist because venting about one’s emotions, expressing them, and seeking health are seen as a “weakness”. Statistics say that women are more likely to seek mental health treatment of any kind, according to the CDC. Our culture expects men to be: unemotional, cold, inexpressive, breadwinners, aggressive, sometimes promiscuous, and so on. There is nothing wrong with being the breadwinner for your household or being hardworking, but there is definitely something wrong with being emotionally unhealthy.
According to a Psychology Today article, titled Why So Many Men Struggle With Their Emotions”; Men tend to suppress, bury, and distract themselves from their emotions with “work, money, success, sex, drugs, and other distractions.” Since men are human too, they experience depression, anxiety, and all the other mental disorders that women go through they are just taught to ignore it unfortunately. This just makes things a lot worse because according to statistics men are more likely than women to ultimately commit suicide. Simply telling someone how you feel can release at least a portion of that emotional distress, and getting input from someone you love, or a professional that understands you, and is trained to interpret, and help you with your emotional health can work wonders. Telling your loved ones you love them, and hearing them say they love you can brighten your day. Since society teaches men to suppress their emotions, they in turn struggle to cope, interpret, recognize, express, and articulate their emotions.
Denial and Pride are also reasons men may not like to go to therapy. They tell themselves “I got this”. You do, you can handle, and overcome anything, but not all by yourself, and you may not know the correct way or how to go about “handling it”. They tell themselves “It’s no big deal” or “I’ll be alright”, you will, but denying what happened to you or how you’re feeling is denying reality, and we don’t want that. The more you acknowledge and accept reality the better. The more you know that you can change that reality the better as well.
Distractions like drugs, sex, work, or whatever distract you, and make you feel good temporarily after it you don’t feel anymore whole, in fact, you feel more empty because you’re avoiding something that needs attention. Deep down you know the only way to fix it is to address it, but you chicken out because you’re too afraid of looking like a wuss (that doesn’t sound manly at all guys).
Health is not one sided if your body, mind, and heart (emotions) are healthy you will feel good all over, and be happier, but if one of these is not healthy the whole thing gets affected, and you in turn live a lower quality of life than what you deserve. Our society needs to refine our definition of masculinity and strength, because true strength is not being afraid to speak up, taking control of your health, your own body, and your life as well as not being afraid of what people think of you, being a leader for what a true man should be. This my friend is true strength and nobility, and it is most definitely attractive.
