Believe it or not, there are certain things we do subconsciously that actually make us appear less friendly and even rude. We are all different, so we all fit into different kinds of “crowds” and some of us are introverted while others are more extroverted. Many of us are even ambiverts. We all have certain “turn off’s” when we are meeting new people or they simply have certain personality traits and tendencies that we just can’t stand for or deal with. There is an array of things that make someone unapproachable or unfriendly, but all of them seem to fall under these two categories below:
Closed Off Body Language
This is an obvious one. Believe it or not, walking around not smiling, not making eye contact when people are talking to you, and turning away from them instead of facing them all make you look standoffish. Crossing your arms or having your head down also makes you look down or upset and just not willing or accepting of communication at the moment. Not talking as much and looking away from people also makes you look disinterested in what they have to say; it also makes you look like you just don’t want to be there. Always having your headphones on makes you look super unapproachable, and always using your phone when people are speaking to you as well as being on your phone a lot period is very unappealing.
Annoying Personality Traits
Everyone hates a liar, complainer, and a “Debby Downer”. What do I mean by that? No one like’s a negative person; someone who is always down, always mean/rude, unpolite, always pointing out their flaws and other people’s flaws, always paying attention to the negative outcome(s), always imagining the worse, never has anything positive to say, and always criticizes. People value honesty and making empty promises or saying that you’re going to be there for someone only to lie about that makes you look like a really bad friend. Being there for the good times and never or rarely for the bad in your friend’s life also makes you look very inauthentic. Everyone hates an aggressive and arrogant person. We all love a sweet and understanding person, but believe it or not clinginess is a huge turn-off for a lot of people as well always texting, calling, or being too sweet makes you look creepy and inauthentic too. So being healthy with the amount of distance and closeness to someone and knowing boundaries is essential! Being friends with a person who is too sensitive or easily offended can also be very annoying to deal with. Little thing’s like always receiving gifts but never giving them gifts or being greedy and not generous is a turn-off, as well as not laughing at other people’s jokes.
The most important thing to remember when making new friends or meeting new people is just to relax and be yourself while also showing that you are a nice person. When you do this you will attract the right kind of people into your life.